11/1/2019 0 Comments November 01st, 2019I just came out of an interesting season in my life. I know I am finally out of it because I can look back on it and call in interesting, not aggravating, annoying, or unnerving. The season I speak of was an extended period of interruption.
I would start a project and there would be a delay in completing it. The weather would strike with and abundance of rain or scorching heat, my health issues would dictate a period of convelansecne, or my family would take precedence over my productivity. I would begin another undertaking and I would immediately be dissuaded from completing it by well meaning bystanders who couldn’t see the vision. By the time I would get them on board, I was ten projects ahead in my mind and wasn’t sure I wanted to complete the task I was on. I haven’t completed a blog post in months. Why? Interruptions. I have a half painted fence. Why? Interruptions. I have a million great ideas that have never been spoken. Why? Interruptions The day I noticed that this frustrating season was on me, I was working with some friends. Every time I tried to add to the conversation, someone jumped in. Once or twice is one thing, but this was a continual happening. I came home to more of the same. I would begin a sentence, but never have the chance to finish the thought. When I went out to dinner with my husband or my parents or friends, I was forced into the listener position. I don’t mind being the one who listens, usually. I don’t mind when someone needs to get something off their chests, but it wasn’t like that. The normal banter with friends and family was suddenly one-sided, and almost exclusionary. I would retreat to the solace of writing, only to be interrupted by a demand to address something that was more time urgent. It felt like I was being ignored, or pushed aside. Yeah, I know. Pathetic! But interruption is one offense it is impossible to point out without sounding like a baby. If you mention to the interrupter that they, in fact, just interrupted you, they usually pause and glare at you and expect something amazingly witty to come from your mouth. It’s usually during that pregnant pause that I forget how to speak. Sometimes this selective mutism will cause the infractor to glower in a more menacing fashion before continuing on with their total conversation domination. If you blurt out at a family gathering that you are being ignored, everyone in the room will turn and look at you, while you stammer out something lame or inane. I’ve seen it happen. So as small as the constant intrusions in my life made me feel, I couldn’t vocalize my discontent. I just grumbled under my breath and prayed for patience. Until my prayers changed, and I started to pray for understanding. Why would something that was so common place suddenly bother me so much? Why was I insecure about a matter so trivial? What did God want me to learn through constant interruption? So I asked Him. He assured me that I was not trivial or childish in my desire to be heard. Everyone wants to feel valued for their opinion occasionally. My thoughts weren’t uncommon or absurd, but my realization that I thought I should have a voice when so often I just clam-up instead of fighting for an audience was what was new. He wanted me to understand that speaking up and being heard would be required in this next season in my life, the time for complacency is done. I was also reassured that even if the world ignores or interrupts or misinterprets what I say, He will hear me. The truth about interruptions is that they are as much of an obstacle for the person doing the interrupting as they are for the one being stymied. How many great ideas are missed in the moment because of an overly assertive personality? Relationships should be established on equal footing. I don’t mean that there won’t be a hierarchy or rule of order in certain circumstances i.e. parent/child, employee/boss, but that at the root of every relationship is the knowledge that God sees us all as His children. When we interject ourselves over another person in a conversation, we devalue their God given desire to be heard and we miss an occasion to build another up who may regularly feel excluded or unheard. He also pressed on my heart that I hadn't adequately expressed my values to those around me. If I don’t let the person who is distracting me from a task know that I value the work I am doing, that’s on me. I can’t expect those in my life to honor my time, if I don’t. I have to make the choice to say no to the demands on my time that don’t align with my call. I have to stop trying to please everyone and just focus. So, no more squirrel moments, or weird tangents. No more projects that never seem to be completed. No more bouts of self-pity because I am not being heard. No more whining when the interruptions come, the other person may have the next best solution to my problem and just can’t wait to share. I’m in a new season. God is walking with me in this space. He hears me. He wants to listen to me. But He wants me to take the time to listen as well. I don’t have to dominate a conversation to be heard, I just have to trust the timing and speak up when necessary. God gave me a backbone for a reason. And if someone chooses not to listen, talk over me, or talk around me; I have the right to keep walking down the road in front of me. I don’t need to interrupt my call to repeat myself.
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AuthorI am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.
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