6/8/2017 0 Comments Running in circlesMy blog is in the doldrums. I have reached a point where the exhausting activities on so many fronts have left me unmotivated to do the things I really need/want to do. Like Paul in Romans states: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I have stepped back into the never saying no lifestyle that wore me out so long ago.
Unlike Paul, I am not doing things that I hate, just things that aren’t a priority. I have fallen into the do-gooder trap. The one that ensnares people into doing a good thing while a better thing is left undone. I think this is the way that the devil causes so many believers to stray from their tasks. When you follow so many things you tend to lose focus on the great thing that God is asking you to do. And if you are like me, and still trying to figure out exactly what that is; it’s hard to get back on track. Several years ago, I went through a frenzied period of growth and learning. I couldn’t get enough of the scriptures and God’s word. I read books, devotionals, and the bible daily. I ventured way out of my comfort zone to try to help others. I even started attending a bible study at a place where I knew no one, something my old self would have been terrified to do. Each step was necessary and beneficial until I started chasing the easy good instead of the harder best. My quiet time every morning started feeling compulsory and rushed. I needed to rush through the bible reading so I could go help feed the homeless/ clothe the orphans/ fix the broken. My witness became harried and stressed because there were tornado victims to help/ foster children to shelter/ emotionally wounded to counsel. I felt a compulsion to help everyone I met, whether they wanted me to or not. My focus shifted from doing all things for him to just doing all things that seemed worthy. Waking up before the family for my devotional time became more difficult because of the fatigue I felt from doing too much. This meant shorter more distracted “quiet” times when my family was up. Can it really be considered quiet time when the t.v. is on and people are making noise? I tried meditating on God’s word in the afternoon to help get me back on the right path, ended up napping every time. Paul was right, I hate what I do! My diligent beginning has led to a middle stuck in doldrums, but I can feel a change in the wind. The power of the Holy Spirit can’t be squelched by me. The last part of the fruit of the spirit, self-control, is finally making an appearance in my life. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, but I’ve got to take a step away from the good and strive towards the best. So it is back to the basics, early alarm clock, quiet time, and moving where he tells me. Anything else and I might as well have stayed in bed!
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AuthorI am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.
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