1/29/2020 0 Comments Getting RealRecently, my church has undertaken a monumental endeavor, cleaning out the house of a hoarder. To some, this might not seem very daunting, but we are a small group peopled mainly with older, retired parishioners. The reason we choose to do this is somewhat complex.
A man in our church made some bad decisions and is now residing in a federal prison in Texas. His wife has been left alone with a mountain of bills and a home the bank is actively seeking to take back. We decided to try to help both of them by helping her move and whittling down a lifetime of memories from her place. Seemed pretty straight forward when we started, but then we visited the home. We read the bank statements trying to help her pay for what she could, and we realized the depth of her dementia. What was once straight forward became a much more complex task. Saturday, I stood in the garage of a home that no human or animal should live in trying to gulp down some fresh air before I reentered the most foul smelling place I have ever visited. The gentleman with me looked around at the mountains of filth and worthless items in the garage with looks of bewilderment and sadness. I understood their pain. These were people we loved and worshipped with for years, people we thought of as family, and we had no idea. Why didn’t they come to us before it was too late? Maybe we could have helped. How had this happened? Where do we go from here? One of the ladies in the clean up crew thanked the congregation for their support during our weekly time of vision and encouragement the next day, then i stood up and read a harder message I had written earlier that morning. This is a part of the message I wrote. I’m sharing because I think the body of Christ has become so good at helping, we forget to ask for help when we really need it. Hoarder or not, occasionally we need someone to help us take out the trash (our emotional baggage) and air out our dwelling place. “When we began vision casting over a year ago, I watched this church pull together and grow spiritually. We have grown closer to each other and it has been amazing. I watched people rally together to help members who needed more than just a well worded card or a concerned nod. Those who are able to go above and beyond to help. I am lucky to be one of those people! But, there is always a but isn’t there? Did this task need to be so monumental? No, it did not. Part of being a fellowship, a community of believers is being there when someone is in need, but it is also the ability to ask for help. Life is full of rough stuff. Instead of the occasional prayer request for a distant relative or cantankerous neighbor, let’s choose to let down our guard and let others in! Find someone within the congregation to confide in, talk to pastor; share the hard stuff before it’s too late, share before foreclosure happens, before your shame forces you into bad choices and desperate decisions. God doesn’t want us to be isolated. You don’t have to raise your hand on Sunday and tell every nuance of your life to everyone here, but trust someone! We all face times when things seem unmanageable and out of control. When we are overwhelmed we don’t know where to turn, and that is exactly when we need to turn to Jesus and each other. We are here for each other. Someone will listen. Let us bear each other’s burdens so no one’s load is too heavy. We need each other fully, completely, the good and the bad. If we can learn to trust each other like that, we can grow, heal, and help each other.” That was my little speech to my church family. I share it now because I think that everyone needs someone they can trust. I think the body of Christ has been stuck so long in pretending to be okay, we have blinded ourselves to the power of vulnerability. I don’t have to the strongest, wisest, most carefree version of myself all the time. Revealing the truth of my hurt to someone else empowers me to overcome the obstacle in my path. In fact, when I lay down my load at the foot of my savior and have a friend there to remind not to pick it up, I can move into peace away from the problem. It’s those times when I shut down and fail to ask for help, my molehill turns into a mountain. So find a friend, a confidant, a counselor, someone trustworthy and start sharing. Don’t let your story end in bewilderment while people who love you stare at the mountains of filth wondering how it got so bad. Discover the freedom of walking out of a condemned home and into the fresh air by just sharing. My heart breaks for my friend and the lie she believed that shamed her into silence. Shatter the silence, and share in your shame.
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AuthorI am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.
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