I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately without really understanding the cause. Life always throws curve balls at you so why was this time causing more apprehension than others. I decided to approach the Lord during my quiet time to ascertain the reason behind this sudden onslaught of anxiousness. The problem is the anxiety is causing sleeplessness, the insomnia puts me in a brain fog, and my muddled mind finds it very difficult to concentrate on what God is saying to me during this time.
Finally, last night, I received an answer. I have been looking at my life with worldly logic again. I have been stressing over finances even though I have set a very doable budget and professed that God has this situation under control. But if I just profess with my tongue and don’t feel it in my heart, do I really believe? I need to get my heart knowledge to align with my head knowledge. I have prayed and received assurance from God that I am on the right path so why am I consumed with doubt?
I think it is the belief that the other shoe is about to drop. I hold a false belief that when things are going well, or in this case “kinda” okay, something is just around the corner waiting to knock me on my rear. The unexpected expense that wipes out our savings, another period of joblessness, or whatever tragedy my mind conjures up. Not exactly the optimistic thinking that a believer should hold.
I have spent a life time worrying about a myriad of problems that have never occurred. I’m a pretty sure that a hoard of angry zombies will never invade my home or I won’t be ship wrecked on an island with no food or water anytime soon. So why do I allow myself to dwell on possibilities that really aren’t possible? Why, when I have established a plan or a budget that was directed by God, do I allow the nagging doubts of fatalism to creep into my thoughts? How can I change this “glass half empty” mentality?
Maybe I need to live the cliché: The present is a present. Today, right now, is the only thing I truly have control over. I can unwrap today and see what the now holds for me instead of worrying about an unknowable future or dwelling on an unyielding past.
11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
I think this passage sums it up pretty well. The Lord has plans for me! How can I be anxious in the face of this reality? He answers prayers, he hears me when I call on him, and he wants to give me hope. I am covered by his mercy. The demon of worry has no place in the heart of a believer. I need to seek out God in the midst of my struggles and remember his words in my anxious moments.
Whatever tomorrow holds, sacrificing today on the altar of worry won’t change it. The present IS a present, unwrap what God has in store for you.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.