Another day on the pendulum. The blessings of God were in the peaks and valleys, they were just harder to locate in the downward dips.
They day started after a good night’s sleep (a miracle in itself) then time for devotion and prayer and coffee. The perfect start to any day.
The highlight of my week each week is the time I spend volunteering at the clothes closet on the south side of the city. Hopeful people with haunted eyes line up outside the door to receive quality clothing for free. Depending on the amount of clothes we have in inventory, they can choose anywhere from 4-10 items. We sort and fold and hang clothes. We greet and feed and clothe people. But, most importantly, we pray with each person who comes in the door. They are blessed with necessary items we so often take for granted and we are blessed with their stories and beautiful spirits. God is present in that place.
We also have a lot of fun! We close the doors for an hour for lunch. And then the giggles set in. We laugh and share and bond over leftovers and lunchmeat. Sometimes silliness is what is needed when you see the situations that some people face every day.
After the beauty of the clothes mission, I went to viewing of a charming child. It was the worse viewing I have ever attended. An energetic, teenage boy killed instantly when his ATV turned over. The overwhelming sadness of peers and parents pulsating through the funeral home. Most of the teens had never seen a dead body before and the first one they see is a once vibrant classmate that would never graduate from high school or attend his senior prom.
His incredibly cute face was still marred from the accident. No amount of pancake make-up from the funeral director could hide damage. It was horrible and I cried. A significant moment for me since I rarely cry, and never in public. I felt very far from the blessings of God.
I looked around at the large turnout, the pictures of his smiling face on display, and the blue flowers on pedestals. No amount of clichés from motivational posters could make this make sense. Trusting in God is the only way through this kind of situation. There is the hidden blessing. When you reach the end of human understanding, the only way to survive is to believe. It is going to be a long process for his family that will never truly be completed until they meet their first born son again in heaven.
My insignificant money problems, weight issues, and petty squabbles with my kids seem so minor. My kids are alive and healthy. I am blessed. Saying that however does not mean that my friends are cursed. They are in a terrible situation and the blessings are hard to find, but, over time, they will become more evident. I have to believe that or this would be impossible to deal with.
My friends need prayer. God must have needed an outstanding 106 pounder on his wrestling team. He chose the best one in the state. The questions of why will persist, the miracle of faith is what is needed to get past this terrible event. I hope healing and comfort come as soon as possible.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.