I have been struggling with my church lately. I am not talking about the body of believers that walk in faith with me, I am talking about the brick and mortar structure that encapsulates my denomination’s ideas of what a church should be or look like.
I want to live in the abundance of Christ and I feel like it is too big for the building. I want the real, genuine faith that converted thousands in a day in bible times and I am not sure that can happen where people are more concerned with building expansions than building the kingdom.
I love the people of my church, but I have had issues with a particular person as of late. I feel that your pastor should have your back, not attempt to publicly humiliate you or the governing body of the church just to prove how intelligent he is. It really struck me when he made his intentions known. I have never spoken so angrily to a man of the cloth before. Later, after reflection, I realized that my anger stemmed from disappointment in a man I once held in esteem. But that is just it, he is a man. A flawed, finite man. He is the spiritual leader of my church, but that doesn’t mean he is perfect.
It also made me realize that my definition of what the Church should be was changing. A pretty white building with a tall steeple looks good on a postcard, but it can intimidate the very people we are trying to reach. I don’t want to attend a mega church that doubles as a rock venue. I desire the close, intimate relationship that comes with fellowship and fun that can only be experienced in the “real” of this world. The church I desire is small in numbers, but huge in impact. The homeless men that are reached when the “church under the bridge” holds it Sunday afternoon service who genuinely want to be there, not because of some social obligation, but just to feel human. The hurting souls that I see at another place I attend on the week days, who just want to held closely, not in contempt. That is the Church I want to attend. A regular meeting of anyone who wants the fullness of the Holy Spirit in their lives wherever they feel led, a mountain top, a beach, a highway underpass, or a church pew. The venue can be big, small, or behind bars, it doesn’t matter, as long as God is with us we are home!
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.