I did it again. I spoke without thinking. I made it through eight hours on the retail floor without snapping only to come home to the people I love the most and lose control of my tongue. Now I am chagrined and upset that I have allowed myself to repeat a sin that I have struggled with so often in the past.
I guess when the fatigue and anxiety built up, I vent verbally. Even after the internal and lasting change that I experienced took place, I can still find myself back in the old habits that hurt those around me. The good news is; I recognize my petty outbursts for what they are now. The argument this evening didn’t have to escalate to hurt feelings and damaged relationships, it could have been handled better if I had taken my own bruised ego out of the equation sooner. The old saying “You can either be right or rich” rings true.
I want to be rich! I want the rich relationships that you have with others when you learn about self-discipline and holding your tongue. I want the rich relationships that are possible in marriages when you learn to respectfully listen to each other and actually hear what the other has to say. I want the rich relationships that fill your soul with joy because you know someone and they know truly know you. I want the richness of a life filled with loving and caring for another.
I don’t want always having to prove to my spouse that I am right and he is wrong. We both struggle with the constant need to be right, and it is tiring.
So tonight, I will apologize for everything I said and any offence I caused, whether it is real or perceived. It doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong because we both were a little bit of each. I can’t control him, but I can control me. The first step to healing any relationship requires a first step! (amazing observation, I know).
With Christ to guide me, I can do better tomorrow. A rich, full marriage is far superior to the solitude of rightness.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.