This weekend, our church held a training class to teach us to facilitate healing for broken people. It was very similar to other classes I have been to recently. Some parts were better, some not so much. But one item that I thought was very interesting was the mention of the Johari Window illustration.
I found this intriguing. I have heard this analogy before, we only know so much about ourselves and others only know what we reveal to them, but the idea that there are aspects of who we are that are seen by others and not ourselves is a bit unsettling.
People form opinions of us every day. How we dress, talk, behave and even how we eat cause others to develop an idea of who and what we are. We are judged every day, accurately and inaccurately. To think that there are bits of my psyche I am oblivious too is daunting. I am my own worst critic and worst enemy and if there are even worse items lurking in my subconscious I can’t see that is a scary possibility. My blindness to those areas is terrifying, but the only way to true healing is to search out those hidden things and face them.
It’s like listening to your voice on someone else’s voicemail. You don’t know what you really sound like until you hear yourself like someone else does. It is eye opening.
I want to be transparent, honest, and real. Those hidden areas still resurface and cause unusual responses. Unexpected outbursts that embarrass and bewilder me. I pray daily that the part of me that people see accurately reflects the changes that the Lord has made in me. If Christ doesn’t shine through me even in the areas I can’t see, I am not walking the path he wants me to walk.
Occasionally, the problems of pride and ego still resurface. And when they do I am again chagrined and ashamed at my behavior. Each day is a day to start anew and fresh. I wake up with a chance to glance in the windows of my soul and see what God sees. I wipe the panes of glass carefully to remove the grime and gore from the day before. Scrubbing unrelentingly on the outer aspects of me so that what shines through is the glory of God. Less blindness to the hidden parts and open honesty about the visible.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.