“Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.”
I have a friend that can’t forgive. She lives in a lonely house with her cats and her boy and worries about him every moment of his day. She has beautiful eyes and a haunted smile. She loved, lost, and never really moved on. So much pain to overcome. She swallowed the pain along with all reason and rationality. She sees the world through a narrow view of correctness. An incessant stream of words spews from her mouth driving away anyone who would want to have a meaningful relationship. The way people run from her perpetuates her feelings that she is unlovable, but she can’t see that what she does causes their reactions that then cause her increasing insecurity that then cause more crazy behavior.
The fact that she holds the world to some unobtainable standard never enters her mind. No one can live up to her ideal therefore everyone is to be pitied or shunned. No compromise for anyone except those she holds most dear, but once she feels betrayed, her defenses go up and she steps into her delusion of perfection again.
I want to be a part of her lonely world. I see her pain and want to help, but she can’t forgive me for whatever I may have done. She can’t forgive a cheating spouse. She can’t forgive an estranged mom. Every adult relationship ends in pain for her so she keeps everyone at arm’s length with her constant chatter.
Better to be alone and unharmed than to forgive and risk pain again.
How many people are there out there like that? Too many to count. I would rather forgive and live than persist in pride and die the moral martyr.
God calls us to forgive even when it is hard or unfair. I love my friend and hope that one day she can begin to forgive, but until that happens I chose to love and help her anyway possible.
In the mean time I think the unforgiveness is causing her excessive sorrow as well as those held in contempt.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.