Why do some hesitate to tell their story even when they are in safe place? I think it is because they are afraid that you are there to gawk and stare instead of feel and care. Helping someone work through a life problem can be rewarding experience that we as believers are called to participate in, but it can also cause wounds to reopen if we aren’t careful. When we ask someone to share a part of their lives are we really doing it with a heart of Christ? When we take the lid off that bottle are we prepared for the consequences that can erupt? What if this person has been so shaken and beaten down that when we tell them to release a little of that pressure, they end up spewing a lifetime of dysfunction all over us? What do we do then?
Did we approach this person with the intend of healing them from their revealing? Or were we just interested in a good show? Some sort of voyeuristic journey into another person’s life to make us feel better about our own, or were we prayerfully reaching out to another.
I don’t want to sound negative, but I think our intentions are a key ingredient to healing in the lives of others. If our heart is in the wrong place or our motives are misguided or selfish, we can seriously hurt those we are supposedly trying to help.
I have gotten to the point where I am okay with retelling my past, but some people are not at that stage. When we approach another with the hope of Christ in our hearts and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, it can be a wonderful time of healing for all involved. It’s when our motives are murky and we are being guided by nosy curiosity that we need to pause before proceeding. Sometimes our exuberance in trying to help another blinds us to what God is truly leading us to do.
God wants us to reach out to people, relate to people, and respond to their needs; but He wants it to be done with a heart of Christ. Gossip mongering Christians who listen just to gloat and then gush hinder healing.
We need to learn to listen without judgement, criticism, and condemnation. And when someone feels comfortable enough to share a part of themselves with us, treat it as the sacred blessing that it is. We honor God when we honor our friend’s secrets and keep them as our own. Let’s make our safe space truly “safe”.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.