The urge to move has always been something I have had to fight against. My mom said I was just a bundle of nerves as a child. Wiggly, wriggly, and fidgety were all words used to describe me by teachers. My legs just never wanted to be still. It was a habit that annoyed many people over the years. I never meant to bother people, but the constant movement helped me concentrate on whatever task I was faced with in my classes.
As I grew older, I learned to keep my knees from bouncing, but lost the ability to focus. Clearly, part of me needed to be moving to truly be calm and think clearly. So many things to think about and do, it’s understandable how a child would have trouble sitting still for long. But I’m not a child now, and I don’t need to focus on my studies any more so the restlessness I once excused as a focus tool is no longer necessary. Right? Hmmm…
I think that the desire and compulsion to move I once felt in youth and have squelched so successfully as an adult, might be what I need to achieve a higher calling in the kingdom. He is calling me to move and I am resting in complacency. I think the hesitancy on my part is due to comfort in the place I am habituating now. I enjoy my now and the nervousness has stilled. But life isn’t about all comfort, there has to be some forward progression for life to have meaning.
As I move forward, my focus is becoming more fixed on the Lord. My restless legs are starting to carry me towards a future I never imagined, and away from a now that is only serving to hold me back. I know it is what I should do, but I am already grieving the door God is closing. I guess that is natural, to miss what once was, when it was good; to gloss over hiccups and missteps in the light of loving nostalgia, but it’s not living up to call on my heart.
The urge to move I felt in my childhood has returned. This time, I feel that I am being led to move for God. Too many people are comfortably staying put instead of pressing forward with the power of God. Limiting themselves and those within their sphere of influence by imposing pharisaical regulations. When the exuberance and excitement once felt is replaced by dullness and disinterest, it’s time to shake things up or move on. Hard work is part of every good thing in life, but people have to feel that their hard work truly means something for them to continue in it.
But I digress.
I was meant to move. It’s just my nature. And just because someone else isn’t moving in step with me doesn’t mean that they aren’t doing God’s will. I can’t judge when someone has been told to rest against my time to run.
The fidgety me has finally focused on the future. I must forget what is behind and press on toward the goal which God has called me.
Every one of us has a goal that we are called to pursue. The important thing isn’t that the goal is some high and lofty thing in the eyes of the world; it’s that it is God’s will. We just have to follow where he leads and revel in the restlessness that spurs us on. And as we meet others along the way, embrace them as they travel their journey, walk with them while your paths merge, and move on if that is God’s will.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.