Sometimes the truth hurts. But sometimes the gentle sting from a friend is the push we need to grow. One of the studies I am currently attending deals with life-controlling problems and contenting with our personal strongholds. In our study, the author talks about blind spots in our lives that hide the truth of ourselves. Each of us is a work in progress, but if we have any hope in progressing with our walk, we have to know where we need to grow. That is where the necessity of truthful disclosure from a friend comes into play.
It’s like trying to reach an itch in the middle of your back. Hard to do without help. Understanding what others see in us can help us be better witnesses for Christ. We have to have an accurate idea of how we present to others, not to receive their validation, but so Christ can show through us. If we are tinted (or tainted) by an element of our personality that we don’t recognize, then those we witness to might see more of us, instead the love of Christ in us.
The necessity of Godly friends that can correctly point out our blind spots is essential. We can’t be completely independent of other people nor can we be completely dependent on others. Interdependency is key. Having relationships that are strong enough and mature enough to withstand a kind intervention is indicative of true growth in the body.
I have stated that I once had a friend tell me a hard truth in a hard way. After I picked my heart up off the floor, I was faced with the soul crushing reality that she had chosen to walk back into her comfort zone leaving me to pick up the pieces. I am not advocating that kind of truth telling. Just as badly as that incident hurt, a more recent occurrence of truth from a friend, who actually seemed to care about me, was strangely healing. She told me I was somewhat closed. I balked at the idea.
Maybe it was the way it was presented or my state of being at the time or my knowledge that I still need a lot of work, but the sting wasn’t unbearable. That is how I knew real growth had happened over the last year. I looked at the truth revealed with doubt and skepticism at first. Those feelings evolved into introspective curiosity and self-realization. She was right. I was wrong. It was like one of those paintings where there is a picture hidden within the obvious, once you see the hidden thing, it’s unmistakable presence is rather blatant. You wonder how you didn’t see it from the start.
Of course, my mind wouldn’t let it go. Immediately, I had to poll people who knew me to see if that was an accurate assessment of my personality. The consensus fully supported her appraisal.
There are two ways I can proceed with this information. I can go back to the comfortable. Back to shallow relationships that don’t mean anything. Back to being closed to true friendships and the inherent pain in loving others. Or I can choose to be as open and honest in person as I am online. It’s a scary proposition. Allowing the people of my flesh and blood world access to the parts of me that I have kept so carefully hidden for so long is terrifying. I have no doubt that some will turn away from the parts of me that make them uncomfortable, but the ones who stay will make the process worth it.
So I think I will embrace the transparency I want from other people to be a part of my everyday life. Just the real, raw, weird me, labeling my emotions and dealing with them. Feeling my feelings and walking out this journey in love. I am strangely excited. I have always loved extreme sports (watching not doing), I think I am going to embrace extreme living now. Heart on my sleeve, not afraid to cry, in love with life, real me. We’ll see how this goes!
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.