I feel poised on the edge of a great cliff right now. I believe God is telling me to have the confidence to jump and be carried down on his wings to the verdant valley below. However, there is that small voice of doubt niggling at my ear.
That means no more passivity or shame when I talk about my past. It also doesn’t mean waving the wrongs forced upon me like a flag or loudly proclaiming every detail of every sin I have ever committed over a loud speaker. It means discernment within the body of believers to reach the unbelievers, the disillusioned and the lost of this world. If anyone can benefit from my words, than it is worth the rejection I experience from the more “pious” crowd. It is worth the mocking I receive from a judgmental world.
David says in Psalm 32:3 “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.”
I don’t want to waste away and give the devil his victory. I want to be used by God to reach as many people possible. So what that my past was less than ideal, I smoked a lot of weed in college, or I suffer from occasional bouts of depression. I’m no longer a slave to sin, I am a child of God. (great song, BTW)
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.