My house is noisy. Older children, animals, the constant drone of the T.V., and a very talkative husband combine to make a somewhat raucous environment. I like quiet. I like peaceful. I like calm. I have wild. I have turbulent. I have loud. And sometimes the contrast between what I want and what I have causes irritation and irritability in me.
There are times when I feel justifiably agitated that my first cup of coffee is often interrupted by my husband reading headlines off his tablet while I am relishing the relative peace of the morning; or I get irrationally irked when the T.V. is tuned to some ridiculous program that I can’t stand; or I get my hackles up when a serene afternoon is disturbed by the kids returning from school or a friend’s house. I am ashamed to admit that sometimes I cherish my alone time more than my family.
When I taste blood from having to bite my tongue so I don’t bite my family’s heads off, I realize it is time for a mommy time out. Five minutes to regroup. Five minutes to think. Five minutes to breathe! And suddenly, I remember that these noisy, occasionally obnoxious people are the most important people in my life.
It’s wonderful to have a husband that wants to talk and share his opinion. A man that cares enough about me to want to discuss the things that he finds interesting or entertaining. It’s a joy to have a house full of energetic children and young adults that are healthy and happy. Children who feel confident and comfortable enough with their home to invite friends over to enjoy a home cooked meal.
The crazy, chaotic commotion that is my world may not be the serene, cultured vision I thought my life would be, but it is exactly what I want. God’s plan for my life is far superior than any plan I had previously. How boring would it be to quietly sip tea with intellectuals, relax in a hot tub after work, or use the restroom without someone knocking at the door? (Okay, I would like to try the last one at least once!) It’s just when I get wrapped up in my own petty problems, I miss the blessings that are right in front of me.
The times when the noise becomes too much, I need to stop and think that there will be a day when I will miss it. There will be a day when the kids have moved out are no longer part of the day to day movement of the house. The beauty of the life I have is beyond all expectation. I can’t let my momentary selfish needs blind me to the glorious wonders of my everyday life.
The wild, turbulent, loud life that God has blessed me with is at times trying; but quiet, calm, and peaceful would probably get pretty old after a while. When the daily din resonates in my head, I need to remember that I am blessed not burdened, and this is the stuff that makes life worth it! There will be a time for order and logic, but for now I choose to see the beauty in the bedlam and Jesus in the jumble.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.