Last week, I brought up attempting to find comfort in the chaos of life. The minute I started to think about controlling the chaos in my own life, the universe threw a crap load of pandemonium my way. Well, it wasn’t actually the universe, it was me. And it wasn’t exactly pandemonium, it was more of a frenzied, frantic mess of activity.
I did what I have done so many times in the past, I started too many projects and overscheduled myself. I let my restlessness override my common sense. I starting thinking grandiose thoughts about what I could accomplish, ran full speed towards them, and forgot to take my vitamins. It was the perfect storm of exhausting activities that left me depleted and defeated. I didn’t conquer chaos, I created it.
This problem always seems to develop this time of year. I take on more work to provide more money for the mandatory gifting the holiday requires, I take on more activities to appease the guilt I feel for not being able to provide for my family in a way I think they deserve, and I spend less time in prayer to make room for the busyness of the season. It’s a great plan for that feeling of holiday hollowness that is so prevalent about now.
Two years ago, I had one of the most incredible Christmases of my life. The focus of the season was Jesus not the jolly old fat man that never seems to deliver presents to my home. That year, my outlook was optimistic and joyful, exactly the way it is supposed to be when we are getting ready to celebrate the birth of our savior. So what happened?
I have been doing good while ignoring what’s best. I fell into the trap a chaos for a cause. Just because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, doesn’t mean I should try to do them all at once. God wants us to be excited and energetic disciples, not distracted and distressed. But that is exactly what happens when we forget to rest.
If Jesus found meditation and prayer a necessary and daily practice, so should I. If I am too busy to open my day with prayer, I am too busy. When calm and peace are elusive, chances are, my prayer life has taken a back seat to a “priority” that isn’t really that important. I’ve got to get back to what leads to true peace. Thankfully, there is still a week left until Christmas, I can choose what’s best instead of what’s just good.
The peace that passes all understanding is available even in this Holiday season, all I have to do is seek it first instead of just giving God what is left.
I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.